As self help Extraordinaire Louise L Hay says, self love is the fundamental cure for any issue. Once we start developing self loving behaviors we will notice how this magic formula begins to heal every element of our life. This includes health, relationships and finances. Life tends to keep on giving us the same lesson until we grasp it. Once you shift, so will that old issue. For instance, I kept on attracting abusive boyfriends. It was only when I started to love myself-and my life- that I looked back in utter horror at what I’d allowed to happen to me. I was not a victim. I see now they were just reflecting back to me how awful I felt about myself. But I know now I have developed enough self love to never let that happen again.
Once you develop a feeling of, ‘I like me,’ or better still, ‘I love me,’ then-just like someone externally that you love- you will not want that person hurt. Therefore you could say you are now hardwired to take care of youself. So without struggle, you start to honor your body, making sure that it is happy; nourished properly, moving, energetic, rested. Because you care, you won’t stand for a bully living inside your head, and will begin to start to see how you notice, and then counter, any self sabotaging remarks. Feeding your spirit will slip up the priority list. You begin to celebrate your playful side, the longings of your heart. Perhaps ambition will start to stir in your belly as you tell yourself ‘Yes I CAN do that.’
It’s a journey though. Sometimes you feel like change is not happening, or it’s incremental. Thinking of the clock analogy is helpful here; staring at a clock it’s often hard to detect time moving forward. But look back an hour and you will see how far the hands have travelled. As long as you are feeling better on the whole, then you are moving in a positive direction.
Bear in mind; everybody starts off their journey into self love from different places. Some people just need to top off an already healthy relationship with themselves. Some people-like I was-are in a pit of desperate self loathing and abuse. So, then, do not compare yourself to others. Only look at your own self progression for a measurable stick as to how you are developing. My feelings about myself were so low that they had much further up the scale to go to get to a healthy, supportive state. But as mentioned before, the further you have to travel, the more beauteous and noticeable the change.
Keep working at it. Learning to love yourself is not something that you concentrate on for a month or so then release, thinking, ‘ah, all done, I feel much better now.’ Life is always going to throw brand new experiences and challenges at us, especially once we start to internally grow and expand horizons. For we, in actuality- fuelled by our new found self confidence and belief- begin to attract them.
With that in mind, and as a consolidation of what we have been talking about these past 10 weeks, I have put together a little self love program for you to zip through as often as you can. Everyday would be ideal, but I know that can be challenging. If you’re short on time, you don’t even have to do every self loving exercise, pick the one/s that you gravitate towards. I recommend copying and pasting this into a word file on your computer and writing down your answers there. Note how you feel after taking a few moments to do it, this may well serve as the motivation you need to come back and do it again regularly.
1) Write out 3 things that you love or appreciate about yourself, ie, your sense of humor, your hair-whatever bubbles to the surface of your attention. Before you add your next 3 things allow your eyes to drift back on what you’ve previously written. Wow, huh?! Positive avalanche developing: You’re a bit more special then you ever gave yourself credit for.
2) What do you see as your purpose in life? If you feel you have a reason for being here, for getting out of bed in the morning, then it will help to channel your energies and buoy your faith in yourself. I have included mine here for you to get an idea. My purpose is to help others to discover their inner magnificence and to show them how to personally blossom. I want to help people to know that self transformation is possible- and there is joy in the journey.
Once you have a sentence or two, read it every day and it will start to permeate into your subconscious which will then seek to manifest it. So even if you see it more of an ambition then as a current purpose, better still. We like ambition at Bright Side.
3) Repeat an affirmation that speaks to you. Repeat in in the car, in the mirror, in the shower:-
I love and accept myself
I trust myself
I am whole, healthy and happy
I am enough, just as I am
Here are 21 more ideas for you http://www.self-help-and-self-development.com/self-esteem-affirmations.html
Or make one up tailored just for you.
4) Do any of meditations/hypnosis mentioned in previous self love weeks, or the one listed here
YouTube is full of self love meditations and hypnosis which you can watch for free. Pick the one/s that comfort you. This is a way to steep your mind in concentrated doses of self loving suggestions, designed to make you feel markedly better about yourself.
Here are some little self loving tips that you can keep in your back pocket to build your sense of self love whenever it needs a lift:-
1) Read/listen to a book or a magazine that you learn something positive from. It may be a self-help book or a non fiction book regarding something that interests you.
2) Call a friend on the phone who always makes you feel better. Gosh this is often like a welcome burst of fresh air in a stale mindset.
3) My friend, Lindsey, (pictured in this article) always recommends this as an instant access point to feel good and it does work! Probably not our male friends included:-) Slick on a bold colored lipstick/gloss; Simple as.
4) Move your body; dance (there are tons of YouTube dance videos to guide you), run, practice yoga, play a sport.
5) Create a vision board. You can do so online http://dreamitalive.com/or with a good old-fashioned cork board and cut out magazine pictures. Roll your mind around what you want out of life and stick pictures relating to that on your vision board; cruises, a toned, strong body, your ideal home, food you aspire to be able to make; let your imagination off the leash.
6) Anything that you can do outside, do; drinking your morning coffee, eating lunch, getting to work. Nature is imbued with healing properties that just cannot be replicated inside. The Great Outdoors ignites our spirits, pacifies our minds and enriches our body.
7) Do something a little out of the ordinary; if you want different results then it’s logical that you’re going to have to approach life from a new angle. Start small; park in a different space in the supermarket carpark, for instance, then get bolder with your changes; join a bookclub, a new spiritual community, volunteer or start an exercise/hobby class.
8) Have date-day/evening/ hour with yourself. Do the things that you love to do, they can be as active or inactive as you choose.
9) Spend time with the people who inspire you, make you laugh, see you inner goodness, people that add something positive to you, not leave you feeling exhausted. This might just mean visiting me here. I’ll be your space, and I’ll do all I can through my articles to enliven your spirits and reflect back to you your inner magnificence.
10) Give to another, as we spoke about in this article Be the Source, featuring Neale Donald Walsh. According to the law of attraction whatever you give to another you give to yourself. So compliment someone else, make their day brighter and see how that not only pulls you out of your self absorbed and gloomy mood but elevates your feeling tone instantly.
We are going to get up days and down days. But, as we said in week 3, make a commitment to yourself, don’t give up on you. I don’t care what you’ve done or what you’ve thought about doing in the past, your point of power is Now.
I so hope you’ve benefitted from this 10 week self love course. Please do share your thoughts, your comments, your experiences with me either in the comment section below or privately. I’m here if you need to offload. I also thoroughly appreciate you sharing any article on social media.
And thank you- from the bottom of heart- for your readership.
Namaste, Bright Siders
A special thanks goes to Lindsey Ramage today who has given permission for me to use her stunning photography. For more life through the lens of Lindsey, you can find her on Instagram @mrsramage