This wee chat is based on what the ‘me’ (right picture) of today might have explained to the lost ‘me’ of yesterday (left) about what she’s learnt about happiness…
So you’re telling me if I won the lottery today, I wouldn’t be happy?! I can assure you I would be!
Of course there is little doubt that if you have a big windfall you would feel great excitement and happiness. But because this happiness is generated from an outside thing happening, it will be fleeting and hard to hold onto. Its like being starving hungry only to receive the wonderful three course meal of your dreams. Its fantastic whilst you’re eating it but once the satisfaction wears off you’re left hungry again. Far better to know how to harvest food for yourself so you can eat when you need to. Once you know how to cultivate happiness free of outside circumstances, you become very powerful indeed. And- by happy irony-you will attract the like to you, (like attracts like). So that means you consciously attract happy people, conditions and circumstances. This is fuel for even more things to make you feel happy about! Its sustainable! And so the momentum of happiness is underway.
Ok but what if the happiness was brought about not by materialistic gain but by emotion? Like I fell in love, or I achieved a goal or an ambition?
Many people do believe that if they found that love match or got that career recognition, for example, they would have captured their version of happiness. There is no doubt, achieving these things can add a generous helping of happy into our lives but…it is still an outside circumstance which means: 1) When the initial flourish of happy chemicals settle you are left with that flat feeling once again. It is fleeting. Just like when you got your A Level results, remember? You were so happy the day you got them, but then a few days later you were worrying about the practicalities of moving to London for university. The happiness had evaporated. 2) Because we have generated happiness from an exterior factor our happiness is on shaky ground. We can’t control exterior factors once they have manifested BUT if we are the makers and bakers of our own happiness then we don’t have to rely on the off chance of a temporary happy circumstance fix anymore.
So happiness isn’t about getting things, whether tangible or not, its about creating it yourself?
Yes, happiness is a state of mind and who manages your mind? That’s right, you. Now this is not to say its easy to be the master of your mind and use it to harness happiness. Its an ongoing daily practice, making those little happy deposits that will add up to that deep-rooted inner smile. Once you know how to get to happy you are no longer victim to the seemingly natural ups and downs of life lived on autopilot. You are flying, intentionally, and with destination.
What tools do I have to create my own happiness?
You have your mind, your body and your spirit. Feed all three and you have very fertile soil indeed for happiness to bloom. If one is off kilter, it tends to affect the other two. You could say they are interconnected, or interdependent. For instance, if your body is sick, it can bring our thoughts down, “I feel awful!” our mind takes that as a command, further compounds it in the body and naturally the spirit deflates too. But happily, feed one facet- body, mind or soul-and the other two tend to feed off the happiness too. For example, if our mind is lost in a happy daydream our body reacts with perhaps an absentminded smile which our mind translates as ‘happy.’ More happy thoughts grow from that seed. Our spirit, we notice, is accordingly delighting and dancing, along for the ride.
The entire website is dedicated to your happy, so we will get into the details and the hows of it. For now, rest in the comfort that…
The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” ― Martha Washington