Yes, the older you get, the faster time passes. Blink of an eye and 2018 is one for the books. It’s been a super year, all in all. We’ve traveled to England for a month in the heat of July, explored Washington DC, holidayed in Cocoa Beach, North Carolina, and about to spend New Years in Germany, followed by Scotland for a few days. Thanks to Eric’s flying job, and the grace of friends and family to put us up, our passion for exploration has not suffered.
The kids are at this ripe age now-eight and ten- where they’re capable and independent, yet still innocent and not yet tainted by the oftentimes ugly tween into teen years. Only two weeks ago I thought it best to tell them that Santa was not all that the fantasy bills him to be, following a few questions, poking around his validity. Like other parents, I didn’t want them to think we’d made up other spiritual heroes too-like God:-)
At eight years, I had known ‘the truth.’ But they weren’t ready for it. I saw their round little eyes swell with globs of tears and back-tracked, muttering something about ‘the spirit of Christmas’ and parents’ roles as Santa’s elves, returning all eyes to the festive illusion of ‘Fred Claus.’ So I am basking in every day this benevolent age range blesses me with.
As well as traveling with our delightfully aged kids, I’ve also continued to teach yoga and now added a meditation class to the mix, following my mindfulness workshop. With Christmas looming, but expectations not lessening, a second job was nudging into my awareness. So I’m now a Dog Sitter at Rover.com. Love it! As I type, a bouncy lab is exploring the finer details of our home, nosing into the Christmas tree, my daughter’s closet. Hosting dogs is a prime excuse for me to stay home- and write.
I’m also committing to more study time. I’m currently engaged in a course, leading to a certification in the ancient Hawaiian healing system, ho’oponopono. Thanks to my growing understanding of honoring myself-or self love- I’m laying off pushing my body into arduous fitness programs such as 80 day obsession. As long as I move everyday, eat well, I’m working on letting that be enough. My thighs have seemingly widened, dimpled, and my tummy is rolled enough to constitute for unconscious playing material whilst watching TV. That’s okay!
So although a fair bits been going on the external level- which is a running theme of being a Durham in our household-what’s been happening internally in 2018 is, in my opinion, even more blog-able.
This year I feel I’ve really harnessed some habits that have paid dividends, and I’m sure they will for you too. A daily gratitude practice has amped up my joy in what I have to the point where tears activate just from waking my son up from school, and watching all the cuteness of his face come to life after a heavy slumber. In my four, two, one journal (almost daily)! I write four things from yesterday that I felt deep gratitude for, two things that need a little love in my life, and one cosmic order, or in other words, one thing I’d like to manifest.
Thanks to the free online meditation course, I’m also waking up and spilling straight onto the sofa for either a meditation or hypnosis, letting a period of stillness book mark the beginning of my day.
Ho’oponopono’s mantra revolves daily in the back of my brain, ‘I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you,’ and it has been transformational in budging the unhelpful self-talk out, and anchoring me into the present both on and off the mat. Because it creates space in my mind, ‘cleaning’ memories that cloud my ability to interact with life effectively, divine inspiration has had a window through which to pour in. I feel like I don’t need a shrink- because I’ve scrubbed- up the window into my heart and spirit so that I can get direct feedback on the fact that, for instance, my third chakra is very under-developed, that my relationship with money up until this point is toxic and needs loving. It’s a work in progress, early days, but perhaps it’s stirred enough curiosity in you to turn to Professor Google for further insight.
You know what else? Rather than chasing after snippets of every spiritual teacher that I vaguely hear about on the likes of HayHouse radio, I’m sticking to one or two teachers, and allowing their wisdom to permeate the entire year through. Right now its Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Huw Len. Earlier this year it was mindfulness gurus, Dave Potter and Jon Kabat-Zinn.
Even though on paper we’re in more financial do-do than ever before, my inner world is budding and glowing and that, evidentially, is creating my mood, tinting my glasses to a very rosy-red.
This year has been about internal growth, next year I have a feeling the seeds I’ve sown will start to sprout. So consider, rather than setting up a ‘doing’ goal for 2019, what about an internal goal? There is a world inside of you, the entire cosmos, and its worthy exploring, not just for you, but for us all. In fact, that is our common purpose.
Who do I want to Be at the end of 2019?
Namaste my sweet friends, thank you for your readership. Merry Christmas!
I wish you a glorious 2019, and the knowingness that this next year will be your best yet.